Sunday, January 07, 2007
Introspection seems the be the thing this weekend. . .
What am I?
I have a friend that is a priest (not to mention one of the funniest people I've ever met), one that is a circuit breaker designer (another really funny guy), one that is a software designer, one that ran heavy construction equipment until his health began to fail him (sometimes just plain hilarious, but I'm not sure it's on purpose even if he revels in the laughter). There are more, but not necessary to list. They all—at least from the outside looking in—seem to have found their life's work to some extent more than me and made peace with it. Of those three, I would certainly say when speaking of them that this on is a priest, or that one is an engineer, and so on. But for me, what would I say that I am?
Currently, I'm paid to manage a group of IT people. I've worked as a software designer, system manager, database administrator and test engineer—a very long time ago. To an extent, I think of myself as an engineer, but I've met real engineers and I feel like an amateur by comparison.
I've done a very little writing and gotten kind comments from people on it, but I'm no writer. I've read writers and they leave me in awe.
I've played a bit of music over the last three decades and sometimes been paid for it, but I've met and even played with real musicians and I don't really qualify.
I've sold mobiles over the years that look something like Alexander Calder's work, but I'm no sculptor; I'm just not good enough.
The people I think of as something, are people who truly have given their lives to some work in a way that I never have. I'm too distracted. I like to many things. When I work on something, it's a rare occasion that I don't feel a pull from something to go do something else.
Only two things I think of myself as unequivocally being: husband and father.
As I wrote that, as it often happens, I felt at more peace with it than when I started. Funny thing, that.
Today, then, they're enough.
What am I?
I have a friend that is a priest (not to mention one of the funniest people I've ever met), one that is a circuit breaker designer (another really funny guy), one that is a software designer, one that ran heavy construction equipment until his health began to fail him (sometimes just plain hilarious, but I'm not sure it's on purpose even if he revels in the laughter). There are more, but not necessary to list. They all—at least from the outside looking in—seem to have found their life's work to some extent more than me and made peace with it. Of those three, I would certainly say when speaking of them that this on is a priest, or that one is an engineer, and so on. But for me, what would I say that I am?
Currently, I'm paid to manage a group of IT people. I've worked as a software designer, system manager, database administrator and test engineer—a very long time ago. To an extent, I think of myself as an engineer, but I've met real engineers and I feel like an amateur by comparison.
I've done a very little writing and gotten kind comments from people on it, but I'm no writer. I've read writers and they leave me in awe.
I've played a bit of music over the last three decades and sometimes been paid for it, but I've met and even played with real musicians and I don't really qualify.
I've sold mobiles over the years that look something like Alexander Calder's work, but I'm no sculptor; I'm just not good enough.
The people I think of as something, are people who truly have given their lives to some work in a way that I never have. I'm too distracted. I like to many things. When I work on something, it's a rare occasion that I don't feel a pull from something to go do something else.
Only two things I think of myself as unequivocally being: husband and father.
As I wrote that, as it often happens, I felt at more peace with it than when I started. Funny thing, that.
Today, then, they're enough.
# posted by goldpython @ 6:28 PM 
