Khan's Castle

The Mohammed cartoon thing goes and goes. This story takes the cake. I don't know what to say that isn't plastered all over the web already. It's just crazy.

Marriage is a simple thing conceptually. Execution is another matter. I was relating my experiences along these lines to a good friend the other day, wanting to encourage him in the midst of difficulties. I think what I learned over the course of a decade of effort is worth writing down:

1. The first step is to establish communications. For me, this involved learning how to communicate in a non-inflammatory way so that problems could actually be discussed without things degenerating. This was huge!
2. If you can communicate, and both parties are willing to work on things, there's hope. Don't give up.
3. Take divorce off the table, either for good, or for a pre-determined period of time. It frees up the discussion when the threat of leaving is taken away. We did that for a six month stint once. It helped quite a lot and the threat never reemerged.
4. There can be no secrets at all. Absolute, complete, and utterly transparent honesty is required for a real marriage. You'd be surprised at what you may hear.
5. If you have #4, you must be willing to forgive almost anything if remorse is real. You'd be surprised what you can forgive. This is where real healing takes place.

This year I celebrate twenty one years with my wife. It didn't come cheap, but what I have with her is priceless. Simply...priceless.